


Goodbye Carl

by poolsidescientist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Crack, Dixie Chicks, F/M, Humor, Song Parody, goodbye earl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 21:43:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13303866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poolsidescientist/pseuds/poolsidescientist
Summary: A song parody of 'Goodbye Earl' by the Dixie Chicks because everyone is sick of the smoking man at this point.





	Goodbye Carl

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written a song parody in forever so bear with me. Also thanking skuls for inspiring this.

Goodbye Carl

"To the tune of 'Goodbye Earl' by the Dixie Chicks

Agents Mulder and Scully were the best of friends  
All through their FBI days  
Hunting creatures from their basement office  
Giving Skinner migranes every day

Mulder was determined to find out why his  
Sister got taken away  
So the agents searched for the truth  
But Carl got in their way

Well it wasn’t two years  
Of them working together  
That Carl took Scully away.  
He violated her rights  
Through experiments  
To keep the syndicate at bay.

Then, she was brought back after nearly dying  
This happened time and time again  
So Carl kept on working to make them suffer  
By killing their family and friends

Mulder then got abducted himself even when  
He came back but nearly died  
Scully held his hand and they worked out a plan  
And it didn’t take them long to decide  
That Carl had to die

Goodbye, Carl  
Those smallpox bees?  
They seemed friendly to me, Carl  
Alien probe?  
Won’t you take one for the road, Carl  
It’s a trip.  
Riding in that spaceship, Carl

The syndicate came to find Carl,  
Searched the office high and low  
They waved their badges  
And said “Thank you agents, if you hear from him let us know”

So the time went by and spring turned to summer  
And summer faded into fall  
It turned out Carl was a smug old scumbag  
That nobody missed at all

The agents were relieved  
Now that they could breath  
They’re now married happily  
They’re still in Washington  
Living with their son,  
And nobody loses sleep at night  
‘Cause Carl had to die

Goodbye, Carl  
Those smallpox bees?  
They seemed friendly to me, Carl  
Alien probe?  
Won’t you take one for the road, Carl  
It’s a trip.  
Riding in that spaceship, Carl


End file.
